i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
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It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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