i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
