You're so nebulous sometimes
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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