I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
