Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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