addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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