:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
