I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
