i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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