I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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