So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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