If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
