and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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