He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize