do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
