Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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