Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize