is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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