i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
