I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
