I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
from now on my penis is your penis
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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