my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
