you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
