this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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