I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
