Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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