i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
