Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
