Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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