i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
