I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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