I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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