Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
