i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Boobs are out for the taking
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Randomize
