He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
