I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I CAN MOONWALK!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
