Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
