Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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