So drunk, too bad you don't want this
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
