I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Pooping to opera.
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