My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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