put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
