Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
handjob tips. give me some.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
