There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
