You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
