3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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