Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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