Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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