maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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