Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
