Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
