Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
