Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
