dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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