I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
