Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Those nachos came to me in a dream
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
