just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
