Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
