dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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