so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
