I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
