you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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