piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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