Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
