Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
