brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
